Sorry for the hiatus, but it’s been busy here. I told my 93-year-old aunt today that when I was still working I was very organized; I kept lists, I crossed things off, my calendar was checked early and often. Now that I’m retired it’s all gone to hell. They say if you want something done to ask a busy person. Retirees wake up with nothing to do and go to bed not even half done. Yes, that’s an exaggeration, but sometimes I find myself very busy but I couldn’t tell you doing what…

I’m finding in retirement I really don’t like deadlines, nor do I like appointments scheduled before noon.


So, changes. Our local newspaper has gone the way of most print dailies and is down to few pages and limited local content, so no more Deborah Dishes weekly, bi-weekly or even monthly columns. Not that I mind; I’m finding in retirement I really don’t like deadlines, nor do I like appointments scheduled before noon. So being relieved of a part time gig was more relief than anything else.

My aunt Dee, whom I mentioned earlier, suffered a stroke in May and has become a permanent resident of a local nursing home. Her mind is sharp but her body is uncooperative, so living alone as she had been was not to be. She bought and she and my father moved into her home 10 years ago, and I for one cannot fathom where that time went. She took care of my dad until his death 6 years ago, and has been there alone since. When the time came to plan for her care another of her nieces, Anita, and I told her, “We moved you in here and we’ll get you out.” The Universe was watching out for her, selling the home in a day. Cousins banded together to empty and clean the place, amused by some of her belongings (she still owned a Dickey, when’s the last time you saw a Dickey?) and unable to recognize other stuff. When all was said and done Anita and I stood teary eyed in the empty place where we, our families, my dad, and his sister had spent happy times playing cards, celebrating holidays (always with great food), and hanging out. It was another change, the end of an era, but we felt blessed we had been part of it and hoped all the good energy would be bestowed on the lady who bought it.  

About the same time my mother-in-law also had a stroke. Thankfully she was already under care in a nursing facility, but in a memory care unit. While her body has bounced back sadly her memory continues to fade. She’ll happily converse about events of 50 years ago, but the near past is gone. I think memory loss is a last-in-first-out proposition, so being the newbie in the family I was pretty sure I was no longer in the picture for her. It was proven on Steve’s last call to his mom when she didn’t know he was married. I’m okay with that, just as long as Steve knows he’s married.

I’ve learned a lot in the last couple of months. That there is a special place in hell for cable and telephone companies. That life is fluid, things change, the unexpected happens – some good and some bad, and there are no guarantees. Swedish Death Cleaning makes a lot of sense, especially if you don’t want your nieces laughing about your Dickeys. Give stuff you don’t need and don’t use away to people who need it now. Do the stuff on your bucket list while you still can. Have fun every day. And tell the people you love that you love them. Then prove it. 

And most of all be kind. Even to the cable and telephone companies.

Deborah